Election Day

Today marks the federal Canadian election. But there is more important news to be broadcasting. The Breatharian institute, is claiming that today is the day that aliens are coming to our planet to take us to another dimension. "A Federation Of Light Space Craft - 2,000 Miles Long Will Appear in our skies on October 14, 2008 ! & The Return of the Masters" So everyone keep your eyes peeled for this ship. It shouldn't be too hard to see in the sky, because it is 2000 miles long.

The Breatharians do not drink water. Instead they only eat quarter pounders from McDonalds and drink diet coke, first thing in the morning before they meditate. They also stare at the sun for half an hour a day, in order to get their energy.

check out their website at: http://www.breatharian.com/

Everything that's wrong with Canada

This will not be an easy list to compile. However i will strive to finish it over the next week. One should keep in mind my current conception that time is not linear but cyclical. That all the planets will one day align themselves before us the exact same way they are currently aligned, and that in that instant i will be sitting at this computer again, writing these words for you.

Firstly, the weather. In some months it is too cold to go for walks without wearing several jackets and a heavy sweater. And even when you go about doing this, you still have to suffer with a runny nose. Someone might even slip on some ice and sprain an ankle. It's very discomforting.

Secondly, weed is illegal. It definitely should be legal.

Thirdly, we don't have as many good burger places as the US does. They have Karls Jr, Sonic and WhiteCastle. Sure we have McDonalds and BK. But is that enough?

Fourthly, we don't have icees (pronounced: I'sees). At american gas stations it is common to have both slurpees and icees. Icees start to foam and fill up the cup upon pouring, much like the foam head of a beer. They're pretty good. Although i think i still like slurpees more.

Fifthly, we don't have the nationalism and patriotism of the US. They all know the words to several different nationalistic anthems and chants. They all proudly salute the flag upon every opportunity. Once a year they get together and have enormous BBQ's in celebration of the founding fathers. And because they have all this love for their country, they believe they are always right and their values represent some international truth. Much like a man that is in love with a woman, yet still beats her and mistreats her when she does something wrong; and then he can't find out why she has no confidence left to succeed in life, eventually this woman needs her violent husband more than anything else in this world, because she knows no other way of operating. I wish Canada could go around and shove its nonchalance down the throat of some Middle Eastern Nations. Maybe we should beat the US to the punch and invade Iran. Or maybe we should just be happy that we have enough things to love in our lives, that we don't need to love our country in an obsessive or violent manner. We can love our country for its people, nature and beauty rather than the ideals and concepts it was founded on. Because politics and government is boring. But a a mountainside landscape with spring creeks pouring down into rapid-filled rivers; that is something worth shoving down someone else's throat. Democracy can taste terrible on some tongues, but nature is always a delicious treat.