Things I didn't know about trees

So as some of you already know, I have a job. I went for two entire months, living in my parents house, without earning a dime for the entire half of a summer. That's impressive and you had better acknowledge it because that's some straight up awesome shit.

So anyways, I work for a company called ArborCare. You may have seen their huge ass trucks driving around, with cranes a flying on the roof and leaf chippers a bouncin behind. They're pretty epic, and have giant maple leaf graphics on them, so if you remember a giant leaf-adorned truck, it's because you saw it and suppressed the memory. Now, my position with the company is one of those positions that sounds better than it is: I'm the Ground Crew assistant to the certified Arborist. What this means is while someone is up in a bucket with a chainsaw, I stand below them with a hardhat on and put 300 pound tree branches through a chipper after dragging them around. I also saw down little branches with what is essentially a saw on a stick. Sometimes I climb, but I usually get in trouble for it, and the wood beetles bite a lot.

So that's my job. Come visit me on Memorial Drive, we're trimming all the way up to 52nd.