Prehenisile Genitalia

Speaking of being able to climb a tree using my penis, I think it's time we addressed the next stage of evolution. I realize you may not, in fact, have been talking about using your nuts to kneed dough, or peel apples, but I think it's time the matter was resolved.

There are several reasons I believe that we will eventually be able to manipulate objects using only our one eyed monster. The first, and most important reason, is that thus-far they are the only system we can survive without. If by a freak agricultural accident you were to lose your cherries and stem, you'd still be able to bring in the herd for a nice rest on a bed of hay in a large red barn that will become covered in snow, and will look quite charming by sunset, but only in winter, because barns in summer smell terrible. Anyways. I think its time we adapted our skin-tone sledgehammers to more intelligent and progressive means.

Tree climbing. It's time we take back the forests from all the women lumberjacks. What better way than to swing tree to tree with your man-lasso? You could be a modern day tarzan if only you could somehow engineer yourself a prehensile vag-blaster.

Juggling. Imagine, if you will, how impressive you could be juggling chainsaws using not only your hands, but with your double-pump supersoaker. If you're not excited already, you're not imagining it properly

House painting. You could easily use your below-the-belt giraffe to hold a roller and use your hands to read a nice book while you cheer up that drab decor.

High-fives. When our single banana fruit salads evolve we'll be able to lay down some skin without using our hands. Swordfighting will be the new high-five, and cockslapping will be a congratulatory term.