The Olsen Twins, and how we can conserve them in their natural habitat.

The Spotted Olsen is a rare and industrious animal, who until this time has gone largely ignored by biologists and zoologists. This odd creature frequently travels in pairs, with an almost uncanny resemblance to other members of its species. Several zoologists have remarked that it is almost impossible to determine one Spotted Olsen from the other.

In recent study of the Spotted Olsen's behavior, scientists have observed that the Olsens bushy coat becomes much thicker in response to the cold winter months. Thickly furred, the Spotted Olsen is a formidable prey to the inhabitants of their natural habitat, namely 40 year old school teachers and 50 year old men who observed them in the "full house" ecosystem in the species early evolution. As a defense against these predators, the Spotted Olsen is known to lay motionless on its back and wake up several hours later with a coke hangover and the number to an abortion clinic. This has proven an effective defense, as the constant challenging has toughened the skin of the Spotted Olsen to an orange, fake tan-like consistency, capable of stopping damaging jets of liquid and small arms fire.

Conserving the Spotted Olsen is a difficult challenge. This species has proved most difficult to observe, and is most often sighted in small niches, such as Motels and Bathroom Stalls. Naturally, with more observation and understanding, we may begin to comprehend the complicated lifestyle of the Spotted Olsen. Indeed, scientists have found that the Spotted Olsen is very susceptible to a human designed compound known as "peach schnapps" and will almost always result in complete shedding of this animals multicolored and often thick coat. As this species ages, we can only remark upon their incredible mating habits and odd behavior, and pray that through understanding we may someday rescue this species from the brink of extinction.