Plan for the inevitable Edmonton invasion

Edmonton not only should invade Calgary, but I predict it will happen by the end of 2008. The questions that need to be answered are:

• Which parts of the city should we sacrifice as human shields?
• How can we protect the only good part of the city (the south)?
• Should we even bother stopping Edmonton from destroying the north?

So, basically, any part of the north is either total garbage, or full of stupid rich douchebags who will make ideal human shields due to the strong and expensive fabric their suits and evening gowns are made out of. The poor people who flee to the south for salvation will be used as missiles in our catapults. Thus we should ignore the invasion of Calgary until it reaches the bow river, and we can even build a wall out of all the dead bodies we'll collect from forest lawn. It's a well known fact that Asians build the best walls, so we should enlist the aid of china town in the great-bow-river-anti-edmonton-and-poor-people wall.

As for strategy, after the wall is built, we can cut their ranks down with guerrilla tactics, like poisoning their food and exploding their women. Edmontonians are for the most part... retarded, so it should be an easy battle. We'll load all the forest lawn people into the catapults and have a war of attrition (to quote Marc) until there's so few of them we can take battleships across the Bow and open fire with guns that shoot 100 dollar bills and flaming oil.

To answer the third question, no, we should not.

Now the main reason I think Edmonton should destroy exactly half of Calgary is so I never have to wait in line again for a bar, and so I dont have to be worried about getting shot in the chest whenever I walk around Downtown. We all know the crips and the bloods come from north calgary. This city needs exactly 500000 less people

SO: invade us edmonton with your flame tanks and ultralisks